Chapter 9.2 Ogle vs. Leer

Ogle vs. Leer

Ogle: To eye amorously or provocatively.
Leer: To give a lascivious, knowing, or wanton look.

By definition these two words are fairly similar, but to me very different.  To ogle is more like just casual looking without expectation, kind of daydreaming.  To leer has expectation, a desire for Lust.

Appreciate: To value or admire highly.

Appreciation of beauty can easily be misinterpreted for ogle or worse, leer.  A friend of mine has told me this story:

On one of his trips, he was sitting in the airport terminal and noticed an attractive young lady, who was way, way across the waiting area. Her style for the day was bare midriff, that which young ones flaunt in the face of women who have gone through pregnancy.
He was just musing (maybe appreciating beauty?), not really thinking “what-if.”  Suddenly, she looked directly at him, thirty yards away and she tugged her top to try to cover her midriff section more.

This has happened to him more than once (it has happened to me a few times too.)  He pondered aloud wondering why do they wear clothes like that if they don’t want to be ogled?  I told him that they do want to be admired, but by someone their own age … the X or Y generation, not the Baby Boomer crowd. But it is proof that women have that sixth intuitive sense that alerts them when energy is being focused their way.

Recently I had a similar experience when leaving the airport.

I had stopped at a light and I happened to look over to my right, and noticed a woman with an airport security uniform, driving a family van, which was stopped at least five feet ahead of me.  She was a nice-looking lady near fifty.
For some reason, as I stared, I was thinking that she had done well in her life, driving a nice van, providing additional income for her family, doing what had to be done.  Nothing, but nothing about her lustfully.  All of a sudden, she turned back at me, looked me straight in the eye, and quickly rolled up her window!  Tell me that energy fields can’t be felt.

An interesting sidelight here is that when us-guys do this, we often aren’t undressing the woman, or even thinking lustful thoughts (really ladies, you have to believe me!) That being said, ladies, I would agree that it is best to err on the side of caution, and not toss your hair our way.

Since we-men supposedly think about sex many times an hour, even our harmless musings probably send vibe-mail that have little attachments that blip sex.  That’s why your firewall activates.  It is wise to keep your shield up until your intuition tells you it’s okay.  Then toss away.

But before judging us, some of us may just be admiring your beauty …  and that says something about you.  Consider it a compliment.

By the way, ogling isn’t just a guy thing.  Girls do their fair share of ogling too.  But when they do it, they usually have to do this thing with their hair … you know, twisting it around their finger or pulling and playing with it.

“We do not usually reckon a woman’s first flirtation until she has had a second.”
François de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)
French classical author

I have come to learn that hair is a woman’s first offense.  I have to confess, when I look at a woman, the very, very first thing I see is her hair. Women use their hair to attract attention by tossing it, twirling it, flicking it.  Hair that looks good gets good looks.  Maybe my attraction to their hair is not purely coincidental … maybe these ladies are actually trying to get my attention??   (… this  is my book, you know ..)

When a woman is speaking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes.
Victor Hugo (1802-1885)
French Dramatist


2 Responses to “Chapter 9.2 Ogle vs. Leer”

  1. Mister Fide Says:

    You have illustrated the matter well, yet we are still without the answer to the “great question” that baffled Freud despite thirty years of research into the feminine soul: “What does a woman want?” (Sigmund Freud: Life and Work by Ernest Jones, 1953)

    I remain baffled, as well.

  2. Pismo Painter Says:

    You are a brave man to publicly broach this subject.

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